Tag Archives: Christian

what you say matters…

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We live in a world of words. I wake up in the morning and one of the first things I begin my day with, outside of fumbling with the french press, is read. I read Facebook, Twitter, emails, The Bible, Instagram (pictures say a lot) and sometimes I may even have time to pick up a comic before my morning run. Then there is my morning run and my commute to work where I listen to Podcasts or Audio books. We literally fill our worlds with words. And unless you’ve been living under a rock lately you realize how divisive these words can be. I look at the reactions from my Christian brother’s and sister’s to the confirmation hearings surrounding Judge Kavanaugh and I am astounded at how much vitriol our words have been laced with on both sides of the aisle. It’s almost as if we have allowed our political and religious stances to embolden our language to the point that we don’t care how it makes another feel as long as we are perceived as being right…and our kids are watching our words.

We’ve always been told that our kids observe our actions and hear our words, but I think sometimes we forget about this audience. And how we react to political and cultural situations in the world around us actually effects how our kids will react as well. Now I don’t want to get into a political discussion defending one side or the other, but it is important how we discuss these things with our teens and kids. In his letter to the church in Ephesus Paul has this to say about our words, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29 Unwholesome talk that tears down or belittles another created image of God (I think it’s safe to say we have been guilty of this on both sides of the aisle, present company included). Instead we are to engage in talk that is helpful for building others up and benefits the ones who are listening. In other words, it is so important to think about the one’s who are listening.

So when we slander or doubt the validity of a person just because we don’t agree with their political affiliation, those who are listening receive permission to do the same. When we doubt the testimony of the powerless against the powerful we give others permission to continue to marginalize the weak. When we belittle others because in doing so we feel all the more right in who we are and what we believe those around us take on those same bully traits in their interactions with those they disagree with. I for one have had quite enough of the church finding itself divided into camps that the world deems necessary. I’ve had quite enough of our words becoming weaponized because that’s what the current cultural climate deems necessary. The way of the cross demands that our words and actions rise above the fray to show a third way and I think it’s high time we take into account the audience that is listening to our words. Maybe then we might be able to truly live into our role as the Bride of Christ, not simply for ourselves, but for the church that is being raised up by our words.

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Do you ever get nervous about what is to come? Do you ever find yourself fearful of the next moment? Do you watch the news at all? It’s crazy to think that our culture has become dependent on fear and worry. It’s almost as if we as people of faith have to struggle more than ever not to give into “the rulers, the authorities, and the powers of this dark world”. The crazy thing is that this isn’t a new struggle. We as humans have been quick to cling to fear or dread or worry…even in the good times. I’m reminded of the story in scripture recorded in the book of Nehemiah. The people of Israel had come home from exile, had begun to rebuild, and had even rediscovered the law. They gathered as one to hear the law read and explained to them and their response is recorded here, “Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, ‘This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.’ For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.” – Nehemiah 8:9 What should have been this beautiful moment of reclaimed identity became a moment of weeping. Why? Because we’re not very good at joy.

In her book Daring Greatly, author Brene Brown addresses this a bit when she speaks to fear, dread and joy. “We can’t prepare for tragedy and loss.  When we turn every opportunity to feel joy into a test drive for despair, we actually diminish our resilience.  Yes, softening into joy is uncomfortable.  Yes, it’s scary.  Yes, it’s vulnerable. But every time we allow ourselves to lean into joy and give in to those moments, we build resilience and we cultivate hope.  The joy becomes part of who we are, and when bad things happen–and they do happen–we are stronger.”* The people of Israel wept in the face of the law because they worried once again that the other shoe was about to fall. They had experienced loss and exile and in this moment of what should have been pure, unadulterated joy, they wept…they were still fearful. As Brown puts it, joy is scary because it’s vulnerable. It opens us up to the possibility that we could be hurt or let down. But if we never fully experience joy we actually become more hollow, more shallow, more fearful and even weaker in the face of tragedy.

The great thing about that passage in Nehemiah is that it doesn’t stop at verse nine. “Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength’.” – Nehemiah 8:10 Did you see that? The joy of the Lord is our strength. Being able to be grateful and joyous in the good things that God gives us actually becomes that which makes us stronger. I often hear Christians quote or paraphrase German philosopher Nietzsche when it comes to tragedy and pain; “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” (Sometimes they just sing Kelly Clarkson) But this isn’t entirely true. Our go-to after facing tragedy and hurt and pain, can be worry or dread over whatever is coming next…and this is not strength. True strength can be found in the gratitude and joy for those surreal life moments when we experience God in a new way and truly come to realize that the joy of God becomes our strength.

 

* Brown, Brené. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, NY: Gotham Books, 2012. Print.

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