Category Archives: love

December 13, 2012

appreciation

By arpology

My six year old has become quite the prolific artist as of late. And then again that might be a trait you could probably extend to all six year old artists. On an almost daily basis he produces some new work of art that is either designated for display or for a specific audience. ‘This one is for you daddy…and this one is for mommy…’ And the crazy part about it is that each work has something amazing about it; some intentionality behind why it was produced. Each one has a story. The sad truth is that all to often I lose a piece or two amidst the mass production that is the result of my son’s creative ability. And someday I can’t help but think that I will want all of those back.

I can’t help but think that the way my son feels about his art gives me a better glimpse into who God is. Think about it this way; the first thing we are told about God according to scriptures is that God ‘creates’. He is a creative God. He is a God who is intimately involved in the production of life…all life. And I thought my son was prolific. Here is God who from the get go we are told is a creator, and not just of a few things, but of all things. Now imagine this God stepping down out of His creator role to take on the form of one of His creations. I mean really think about it. Think about the way he would look at a tree. How he would appreciate the proportionate amount of sunlight or the stirring of a storm. Think about how he would look at another human. He would see us like no one ever could or ever would. His appreciation for His creation would be mind-blowing. You couldn’t help but be in awe of His interaction with another.

In fact, the Advent story is pretty much summed up in one of the most famous verses of all of scripture. ‘For God so loved the world that he gave…” – John 3:16. God gave of Himself to encounter His creation in a way that would show us what it means to truly love His creation. The appreciation He had for His handiwork goes beyond all comprehension. When he looks at us He sees the massive beauty and potential bound up in what He created and the breathtaking result is Love. And I am not talking about love that is conditional or bound up by fallen ambition or desires, but love that says ‘I made you and I would do anything just to be with you’.

And here is where the hard part comes in. I think it might possibly be justifiable to sometimes lose sight of one of the many pieces of art that my son creates for me (although in the long run it might not be). But for us to lose sight of or even cast aside one of God’s creations because of our own agenda or callous life-style…God help us. Help us to appreciate where you have placed us in order to love those around us like you do. Give us the eyes of a creator who sees the boundless love and grace poured into existence in the life of another. And may we see life anew this Advent season because of the way you see us.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , | posted in child-like, Jesus, love

November 29, 2012

scared to death

By arpology

I recently was asked to attend a party which I was regrettably unable to attend. But this wasn’t your usual run of the mill party either. A student who had been a part of my ministry when I worked with Middle School students was turning thirteen and his dad had planned something special. He had invited pastors, teachers, coaches, small group leaders, male family members and others who he knew had an influence on his son’s life. It was designed as a rite of passage for his son in order to validate him stepping into manhood. And although I wasn’t able to attend I was able to share a bit through the wonders of technology and made a video for this student. The verse I chose to share with him came from 2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” I look back on that verse and wonder why it stuck out to me to be the one verse out of the vast patchwork of scripture that I would choose to share with a “boy” stepping into “manhood”. Why would timidity or fear be something that I felt the need so strongly to warn against?

Maybe it is because of what I see…

I see men in our day and age who are scared. I don’t think that they are necessarily scared of enemies or boogey men or anything else you want to conjure up out of the darkness. I think they are scared of letting God call them into something greater. It’s almost as if we feel like we are assigned certain roles in life and we are called to fulfill those and to step out of those roles would end in tragedy. And so we become paralyzed…shells of who would should be. It’s almost as if we are scared to be all that God has called us to; one might even say scared to death. But look at what the verse says. We are given a Spirit of power, love and self-discipline. These are, or at least should be, very masculine traits. I think where we error is that we feel like they have to come from within ourselves when clearly these are from the Spirit God gives us. It is this very same Spirit that raised Christ to life and can even bring us back from the dead.

So why are we scared? Or should I say, what are we scared of? If death cannot harm us and the grave cannot hold us back then why aren’t we setting the world on fire for Christ through Power, Love and Self-Discipline? Why aren’t the men of the kingdom of God becoming the shining example of what it means to live life to the fullest? I believe a new day is dawning. A day when the men of the church truly embrace the Spirit God has given them in order to become men of Power (in a way that sets captives free, gives sight to the blind, and pleads the case of the oppressed), Love (in a way that seeks truth and honors others above itself) and self-discipline (a trait given from God to be able to stand above reproach). And if this becomes our defining marks…then what do we have to fear…

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in discipline, fear, love

November 21, 2012

i wuv you

By arpology

It’s the three word phrase that melts my heart every time. From my two year old daughter there are no more magical words than ‘I wuv you’. And I love that she feels free enough to use those words extravagantly. She tells me, her mother, her brother, the cat, the dog, her stuffed animals, etc. (If I go too much further it won’t feel special to me any more). But every time someone in my family tells me that they love me, regardless of the repetition, it warms something inside me and affirms what I know to be true. Some may even say we throw the word love around too much, but is there such a thing as too much?

I think about it like this. The apostle Paul, one for whom much of our church thinking and practice comes from, thought love so important that he wrote an entire poetic section about it in his letter to the church in Corinth. It begins like this, “If I speak in the tonguesof men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” – 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. Without love, all of our accomplishments, credentials, abilities, even faith itself means nothing. Nothing? To take a note from a page from Southern expressions, “them’s fighting words.”

But look at where the church is today. We have become a roadside attraction. We have lost our voice in society and often times we are neglected for being ineffective and archaic. What happened?* I think we may have lost our voice because we failed to speak and act from a place of love. Having grown up in the evangelical church in America I have been privy to our attempts to control society in stead of transform it. I have seen us hand out judgment rather than share God’s grace. And yes, we are called to live separate lives, but we are also called to lead lives of love. To use Paul’s words a bit more it looks a little like this, “Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

So yeah maybe my daughter does throw around the word “wuv” a little much…but maybe we all could be so lucky as to be accused of the same thing. Maybe then we might be the trans-formative Kingdom of God made into the image of a God who LOVED the world so much He was willing to die for it.

* This is a ridiculous rhetorical question if you try to take into account some of the missteps in the church’s 2,000 year history. Thankfully we are the Bride of Christ and He can redeem anything.

Leave a comment | posted in family, Kingdom, love

November 2, 2012

impracticality

By arpology

I am not the best with money. I never really have been. My dad used to always say that money burned a hole right through my pockets because as soon as I would earn it, it was spent. Unfortunately as an adult this isn’t the best approach…especially as a husband and a father to two. And so I have worked at becoming better with my money. I have striven to eliminate debt and very rarely do we as a family do anything outside the realm of practicality as far as finances are concerned (granted if it is crazy or spontaneous and free, then we are on board). But I have to share with you a couple of recent events that seem so ridiculously impractical; and yes, money is involved.

Recently I shared in my blog that our son has been going through a lot. And so as a family we have been looking for ways to make new and fun-filled memories. The first opportunity came when my wife saw that Disney on Ice was in town on a Sunday morning. I had told her that unless someone hands us the money at church (which almost never happens) that there was no way we could go. And would you believe somebody handed us the money we needed at church that morning. And it was a great night filled with smiles and laughter. The next opportunity was this week. My wife and I saw a commercial for another Disney live show and we both thought of Jonas. And the following morning I was about to tell her there is no way we can do this financially, but right before we talked, I received an unexpected check at work….so we will let you know how tomorrow goes:)

Now I know that the money we were given in both of these circumstances could have gone to something better. It maybe could have paid a bill, put gas in a car, helped boost our emergency fund, etc. but I can’t help but think that God wants us to be impractical with it for the sake of our own. After all, this is the same God who impractically lavishes love out upon us. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” – 1 John 3:1. I almost think God is in the business of impracticality. He looks at us, in all of our brokenness and failures, and calls us His own. And furthermore asks us to go out and seek out more of his children and share the same love. We are to love the broken, the orphan, the widow, the enemy, the other…because we are all God’s children. And the plan is insanely impractical because love is impractical.

I feel like tomorrow this unexpected check may burn a hole right through my pockets, but I think as long as it makes a memory I am okay with that. May you find a new way to be impractical this week for the sake of loving like God loved us.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , | posted in child-like, family, God the Father, love

July 25, 2012

be good

By arpology

“Daddy! If we be good* will you bring us something home?” These were the words shouted at me across the lawn as I was getting ready to head off for work. Of course, being the gracious father that I am, I responded, “No way!” Don’t get me wrong. I love giving my boys treats and surprises, but to give them something for being good, for something that is expected of them…well that’s just not good parenting. Uh oh. I am in trouble now.

We often refer to God as our heavenly father. And rightfully so as that is part revelation of the Triune God. This imagery often even helps us in understanding a bit of who God is (this is not always the case for those who have never had a positive experience with an earthly father). And so it kind of led me to thinking about understanding God and our moral behavior here on earth. I think a lot of times that our earthly checklist of right and wrong becomes a ledger that we believe will eventually be fulfilled in heaven. But is it really a scorecard? Does God really want to reward us for being good…doing what is expected?

Kids have a fun way of seeing life. Essentially I think they see it as getting stuff. I get good stuff if I am good and bad stuff if I am bad. Come to think of it, I am not sure that we really grow out of this. Heaven and salvation become the good things we get when we are good and hell and damnation become the bad things if we are bad. But is that really why Jesus came? In John 10:9-10 we find these words, “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Life in full…life to the fullest (I like the old school translation here)? If Jesus comes to give us life to the fullest doesn’t that imply a “now” kind of thing?

I look at it like this way. I love to do nice things for my wife. Not because she will in turn do nice things back, but because I love her (love being defined as a daily choice to put the other ahead of the “me”). If God is love and he has come to give us life to the fullest then wouldn’t that be the way we receive that life to the fullest. In other words, it is time to throw out the ledger sheet; for God, for others and even for ourselves. Being good becomes an outflow of the grace shown us. Not because of what we will receive, but because of who God is…love. May you learn to love today out of response and not out of expectation!

 

* There is still some grammatical education to be achieved.

Leave a comment | posted in faith, family, God the Father, love, salvation

June 6, 2012

please step away from the mic

By arpology

About a month or so ago I came home from some church related activity one evening to find my wife had started a movie on Netflix; this is not an altogether uncommon activity in our house. However, her choice had me cringing a bit. She, not knowing who Bill Maher was at the time, had chosen to watch the movie Religulous. For those of you unfamiliar with Bill Maher or this work, it is basically ninety minutes of Mr. Maher attempting to make fun of the world’s three largest religions: Christianity, Judaism and Islam. However, he does so by picking out the crazy fundamentalists in each of the three. In the South we call this “shootin’ fish in a barrel”. Of course you can make fun of all the crazies that belong to a certain group…it’s easy. It actually makes Maher look a little less effective because he goes toe to toe with people my seven year old could out-wit. And we all know that these people are rarely the norm and have never represented the majority even if Bill Maher doesn’t.

I guess the real problem is the fact that the people who scream the loudest and sound the most ignorant get the most attention. I mean let’s face it, everyone loves to watch a train wreck. I guess the hard part for me is that in the Church we allow these people to become the dominant voices. I think about Westboro Baptist Church or the “pastor” from North Carolina* who recently proposed concentration camps for the Gay and Lesbian community and my stomach turns. Do these people not read the same Bible I do? Think about this passage from 1 Peter 4:8-11, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God.” Love deeply…I don’t think either of these representations of our crazies could be accused of love. And what about that last phrase? Speak as if your words are “the very words of God”? Shouldn’t there be great care and thought put into every word we say as the church if our words are construed as the very words of God?

So here is my heartfelt plea; PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE MIC! (I may have been type shouting). You are making yourself look like fools. You are making the Church look ignorant and hateful. And most importantly…you are misrepresenting Christ! When members of a certain group go out and speak with hatred and ignorance that entire group becomes characterized by those extremes. So I beg of you…please step away from the mic. It would do us all a great deal of good and who knows…maybe Bill Maher will go broke because he won’t have anything to talk about.

 

* If you haven’t seen this, here is the link.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2839yEazcs It may be the saddest thing you watch today.

Leave a comment | posted in church, fear, love

April 18, 2012

sad

By arpology

This past weekend the movie Blue Like Jazz (based on Donald Miller’s book of the same name) was released into select theaters across the country. Donald Miller, who obviously has a lot invested in the project, was extremely excited about the release of the movie and it’s implications for sparking conversation inside and outside the church. On April 15th, the Sunday of the weekend release he tweeted “Donald Miller (@donaldmiller) We may be the only movie where the evangelical community and gay community can watch and be moved: bluelikejazzthemovie.com”. And you would think that the response for this would be positive as the evangelical community is always looking for ways to engage the gay community. But less than an hour later Donald Miller tweeted, “Donald Miller (@donaldmiller) I just got unfollowed by 50 people who do not think the gay community and evangelical community should talk. wow.” Wow is right. Have we lost our way as evangelicals? Are we so bent on alienating gay people and distancing ourselves from the gay community that we don’t even see an opportunity to engage them through modern media?

I can’t help but think about how sad this is. We are called to be people characterized by love. And what does love do? “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I especially love the part about always trusting. Love trusts that when you engage someone who is different than you in a loving way that God will be there in that moment. Love trusts in the fact that they “gay” will not rub off on you and perhaps you may enter into healthy dialogue with someone who is different than you.

Here is the crazy part about winning people to the Kingdom. We are not responsible to do it. God is. We are simply called to love…and unfriending/unfollowing someone simply because they suggest that you might be able to talk to someone different than you doesn’t sound a lot like love. I remember hearing a story about Billy Graham and I haven’t been able to validate it, but this is the internet and so I guess it is okay to share ;) . It was the day of the presidential prayer breakfast following the Monica Lewinsky scandal and since Billy Graham was an adviser to the president he was in attendance. Someone asked him why he would be there in view of the president’s open moral failure and Billy Graham’s reply was simple. “I believe it is God’s job to judge, the Holy Spirit’s job to convict and my job to love. I am just here doing my job.”

How often do we forget what our job is? I just worry about what the future of the Christian faith looks like when we can’t even fulfill half of what Jesus called the greatest commandment…to love our neighbor like ourselves. It really could be sad.

Leave a comment | posted in love

February 16, 2012

another man’s wife

By arpology

We have all been guilty of it before. And most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing it. Something doesn’t settle well with us or we feel like something needs to change and before we know it we find ourselves spewing word vomit about the church. I know this may seem like such a small thing, but I think we need to be careful. After all, we are talking about another man’s wife. Ephesians 5:25-27, “…just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church (bride), without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” When we speak ill of the church, we are speaking ill of the Bride of Christ and we are treading on dangerous ground.

Think about it this way. Where do a lot of our conversations take place about the church? During the car ride home? Around the Sunday lunch table? And are we assured that our audience understands all that is being said? I imagine a lot of our conversations about the church (regardless of whether or not they are healthy) take place in front of ears too small to understand the context out of which we speak. And so often we don’t even try to censor ourselves or explain why we are speaking the way we do because we think of our investment first in the life of the church. But, I know if one of my boys heard someone speaking negatively about their mom that they would intervene or quickly come and report to daddy. Is this the way we think about our words about the church?

Or maybe you find yourself speaking about the church to an outsiders or to a coworker. And though you get excited about some of the “programs” often times you find yourself playing down the things you find lacking or disappointing. Not to put it too crudely, but that’s kind of like calling another man’s wife fat. I mean, think about it, you are basically telling someone else that the bride of Christ is okay, but really she is pretty undesirable. And you may say to yourself that this doesn’t really count because you are just talking about your local church and all it does but see if this statement rings a bell, “I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Church universal…” If you believe and adhere to the idea that God’s Church is universal then when you speak badly of one, you speak badly of all.

And this is a blog topic that aims the finger right back at me. How many times do I need to check what I am saying about the church in front of my family and friends? I think this is something where we all need a little check from the Holy Spirit. A little reminder that says, “Hold up…before you say what you are about to say, would you be comfortable hearing someone say that about your spouse?” And I think a lot of the time, we wouldn’t. We might even be, as we put it in the South, spittin’ mad. So let’s love the Church with our words and deeds…for all that she is, hangups and all. We don’t have to worry about fixing her ourselves after all. If we are being disciples, as we are called to be then Christ’ love will make her radiant.

Leave a comment | posted in love, speech

May 18, 2011

change

By arpology

Change is hard. I was reminded of this by one of my colleagues today. But change is not only necessary, it is inevitable. The issue becomes…are we making the right change? How do we weigh in on our future and know which path to take? I always loved Robert’s Frost’ take, “I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference..” As people of faith, what does the other path look like? How do we discern “God’s will” for change in our lives and in the lives of those around us? And as a man of the cloth, how do I discern the ways in which I push and plead with the laity for change?

In the Wesleyan tradition we often measure our means for understanding God’s action in our lives through what we call the Wesleyan quadrilateral. We understand God and his encounters with our lives through Scripture, Tradition, Reason and Experience. The Triune God is revealed to us in Scripture. His actions have been communicated through church tradition for 2,000 years. He created us in His own image with the ability to reason and understand his Divine action in the world. And we ultimately believe that He is  relational God who encounters us through the presence of the Holy Spirit. By reconciling these four elements, we are able to discern God’s action in the life of the church and in the life of His people. Through weighing tradition and scripture together with our ability to reason and our experience with God, we are often able to discern the voice of God speaking change and transformation into our lives. And that is what it is ultimately all about. But it is not easy.

Fortunately the overarching guideline for Holiness doctrine is love. Without love change is not only difficult, it is fruitless.  “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” So we proceed with the spirit of love. Placing others needs above our own. So that change is not for self, but for others. And though it may be hard, in the end it will be worth it. Change is the road less traveled by, and it will make all the difference.

Leave a comment | posted in journey, love

May 2, 2011

a proper response

By arpology

I am not sure if it bothers anyone else to see people sing “God Bless America” over the death of one of His creations but to me it just doesn’t settle well. Is this a proper response? Is it right to celebrate anyone’s death who we presume will spend eternity separated from God? I am just having a hard time with jubilant celebration over “death” – the enemy of God that was defeated in the resurrection. Especially in the season of Easter. This is the season where we celebrate God’s victory over death in the personage of Jesus Christ and here we are going crazy over the infliction of death onto another human being. And I know that what this man did was wrong. You don’t have to be a moralist to understand that this man has done more harm than good with his actions. He has taken lives. He has caused incalculable damage to relationships between the people of his faith and the Western world. But “God bless America”…really?

So what is the proper response? The prophets called us to look forward to a day of peace, “He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples.  They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.  Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.” – Isaiah 2:4. Jesus reminds us that we are blessed when we mourn for our world and the death it propagates, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4. But some might say to me how can you think of peace now, or mourn for someone who seemed to cause such division? I have to pray for peace and long for God’s coming day of reconciliation and renewal when heaven and earth become one! I have no choice! I follow the Risen Christ. And I am not sure I am mourning so much the loss of one whose life was linked to terror as much as I am mourning the response to his death and what it means for the world. I am mourning the attitudes and actions that led his life into a destructive pattern. I am mourning the marred relations that have characterized human history since the fall of man. I am mourning this world and the loss of any life that has come about because of our sin.

I am lastly reminded of the words of Christ in his instructions to his closest followers, ““You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” May we find, in the midst of all of this chaos, a proper response…even a perfect response as we are called to be a people defined by Love!

2 comments | posted in love, mercy, sin

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